The Rigor of New Routines
I’m someone who has to stick pretty closely to a routine to feel comfortable--so any routine change, even a much-wanted one like getting settled in my new job--can feel overwhelming.
And it doesn’t help that being in a new industry feels like everyone’s talking to me in a new language I don’t understand!
As soon as I hit my first day, everything felt different: the hours, the commute, the people, the work itself (which I needed to be trained in from square one), the length of the lunch break, the food available nearby--the list felt never-ending. And the more I thought about it, the more stressed I felt.
Even though this is the first time I’ve changed jobs without also moving across the country--which made it my easiest job transition so far--I still felt stress creeping in and threatening to take away focus from the vital first days of meeting people and starting to learn the ins and outs of the new job.
I didn’t know what to do at first except try to stick as closely to my previous routine as possible, but with all these changes, I wondered how I’d manage. Especially after coming back from DragonCon, which was amazing yet muted this year since it felt strange to go home without seeing Nana, I wanted to put extra effort into keeping my head above water.
And so, I took inspiration from Goblin Tools (https://goblin.tools/), which I learned about in the group therapy I joined about a month ago, and listed out these unknowns in the notepad on my phone. If I could consider each one individually, that would help me feel less overwhelmed.
Even though I wanted a quick solution to this, it turned out that some of the problems were harder to solve than others. I now know I have the option to take five different buses or two different trains to work, but I’m still working on timing and figuring out which is fastest. I’m slowly trying lunch places one by one, which is stressful but enjoyable thanks to having a coworker who’s also a close friend.
I think a job like this in a new industry with so many other unknowns is going to take some time to get used to, but one week in, I’m proud that I’m starting to adjust. I understand the first two tasks of my new job, and I’ve started learning a third. I’m decreasing my confusion by taking copious notes (in a notebook with a barely visible, therefore professional T-Rex on it) and retyping them, then going through them before I do my work. For the first time in my life, I’m prioritizing accuracy over speed, and so far I’m managing to learn things pretty well.
Some things, like my work wardrobe, are more easily fixed. But there are some things that won’t resolve immediately, and I have to learn to be okay with that. It’s a test of my ability to overcome the black-and-white thinking that comes so innately to me but hinders my flexibility.
After nearly five years in the same job, I’d gotten pretty used to the everyday scheduling, but there were also times there when I had to relearn how to schedule my day, like during the pandemic. I need to remember that even though there are some other things I’m working on in my life now, that doesn’t mean I’m unable to learn something new in order to get a major upgrade to my quality of life.
Michelle Cohen, a writer in the Chicago area, was diagnosed with OCD at age 3. She hopes to educate others about her condition and end the stigma against mental illness.