Self Care is for Everyone
This week, as the country reels from an unprecedented event, it’s hard to think of what to say. There are no easy platitudes to make people who now feel unsafe feel safe, and many people I know are having trouble processing everything that’s happening right now.
At a time with no straightforward solutions to problems that seem insurmountable, it can be so easy to feel anxious, sad, worried, panicked, or distressed. For many of my friends, even people who are usually very calm, this is a hard time to be strong.
Self-care has become extremely important among many people I know, including myself, after last week’s events. This means everything from eating and sleeping to taking care of your mental health, which some people have asked me how to do as they are unused to trying this out. I’ve even heard some people say that self-care is for people who live with mental illness and therefore “need it.”
Let’s face it: between the pandemic, election season, and the Capitol, we could all use some self-care, whether we use it as an everyday practice or have never tried it before.
If you need some tips to get started, here are some things that help me calm down when the world feels overwhelming:
One of my favorite techniques is breathing in a box. My therapist told me to visualize that I was drawing a square box with my breath - the first inhale is the bottom-left corner going up, which takes four seconds. Then, I spend four seconds holding my breath - an even line for the top of the box. Then, I let out the breath in four seconds to make a line going down from the top-right corner, and wait four seconds to make the bottom of the box before beginning again.
Breathing like that forces me to slow down and focus on the actual breath itself. I’m not exactly good at meditation or many other breathing techniques, but this one feels right for me. Whenever I start to feel myself getting overcome by stress, I breathe in this box to remind me of two things: I can slow down my thoughts the way I slow down my breathing, and I can also visualize my thoughts staying in one place - like a box - instead of taking over my whole head.
Speaking of shapes, I’ve also been getting interested in adult coloring books. I used to be very rigid with what things I could make what colors, but now, I’m trying to let loose and just have fun with shapes and colors. I also learned how to cross-stitch during the pandemic, and like several friends, I’ve been working on projects that make me happy and keep my hands and head busy.
When I’m looking to keep my head busy, I find that writing stories in my head is the best way for me to chase out thoughts I don’t like. I do some form of this every day - I fall asleep to stories most nights and sometimes even dream them before beginning to write them again in the morning. Even though my stories don’t always take place in worlds that are happy, it can make me feel better to have some sort of control of what’s going on, even if only in my mind.
Control also plays an important part in the way I take care of my body - making sure I take time to have hot, relaxing showers and enjoy foods I love in moderate quantities are great ways to foster happiness every day. I’ve also sought sensory comforts like cuddling up in my favorite pajamas, hugging my family’s dog (who is 14 years old and always looking for a snuggle buddy), and taking walks outside for the feeling of (albeit cold) fresh air.
Another thing I’ve been doing throughout the pandemic is rationing my intake of the news. Although I find it very important to know what’s going on in the country and the world at large, I started to find myself checking the news far too much and getting upset every time I did. For several months, I didn’t watch live TV as things were happening; instead, I read articles about what had happened the previous day so that I wasn’t bombarded with unsureties. I kept this up through the election cycle and everything that happened in the Capitol, and even though I sometimes feel behind, I know - after trial and error - that this is the right decision for me.
All in all, self-care is about taking care of yourself in the way that makes the most sense for you. What works for me might work for you, or it might not. Everyone is different in this regard, but self-care is important for all of us to feel safe, comforted, and like we are retaining some sense of normalcy amid chaos.
I encourage everyone reading this to find some way to take extra care of yourself in these troubling times. If none of the things I’ve mentioned resonate with you, take some time to Google different solutions or find a way to incorporate some of your favorite relaxation techniques into your day. It may sound silly, but even a few minutes of calm can help the whole day’s productivity and happiness. Regardless of the presence or absence of a mental health diagnosis, self-care can help you, and is a great way to start 2021 with a new mindset.
Ellie, a writer new to the Chicago area, was diagnosed with OCD at age 3. She hopes to educate others about her condition and end the stigma against mental illness.